


Never "write off" David Rose.  He's smarter than you think.

by MapleLeafSquareRoot



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Blow Jobs, Competent!David, M/M, Payroll Deductions, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapleLeafSquareRoot/pseuds/MapleLeafSquareRoot
Summary: Based on a prompt from returntosaturn:"On paper, Patrick’s been paid as an employee of Rose Apothecary. Somewhere along the line (boyfriends, fiancés, husbands, you decide), David thinks it’s time to change that so that he's recognized as an official partner."
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 9
Kudos: 129
Collections: The Rosebudd Ficlets





	Never "write off" David Rose.  He's smarter than you think.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [returntosaturn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/returntosaturn/gifts).



> This is very nerdy. But also the information relating to the Canada Pension Plan, Employment Insurance and mileage reimbursement are all accurate, so we can all say we learned something today, right? And didn't just write something short and porny, right?
> 
> Riiiiiiiiiight.

Neither David, nor Patrick, could pinpoint when the shift occurred, but whether it was by osmosis, natural exposure, or sincere concerted effort, each of them had become increasingly more adept at all aspects of the business. This meant Patrick having some input into creative decisions - input that wasn’t immediately rejected by David, and David contributing in a meaningful way to business decisions. Their increased synergy wasn’t without occasional disagreement or conflict, but generally, they could work their way back to making the best decision for the store. 

It wasn’t a surprise, then, when David approached Patrick late in December, with a small stack of papers emblazoned with the Canada Revenue Agency icon in his hand, and a furrow across his brow.

“So, Patrick…,” he began, cautious, not yet confident in his ability to speak with any authority on legislative and regulatory matters. “I think it’s time we filed the paperwork to change your status from ‘employee’ to ‘partner’.”

As much as Patrick wanted David’s suggestion to be coming from a place of romance - the notion of being partners in love and in business - the stack of papers in David’s hands alluded to something else. 

“Ok, David. But why now?”

“Well, it’s just that as an employee of the store, the store has to contribute Employment Insurance on your behalf. I mean, even if you’re a partner, we still have to pay your Canada Pension Plan, but no EI means 2.21% less of the store’s income going to the government, and 1.58% more for you. That’s a lot of money, Patrick!”

Patrick quirked an eyebrow. He knew David was correct. And he was very impressed, and a little turned on, by David’s understanding of payroll deductions. 

“At that rate, Patrick, we could have an espresso machine by April!” David finished, stifling his mischievous grin.

_Ah, there it is_ , Patrick thought, as he took the papers from David’s hand, pulling him in for a kiss. David smiled into the kiss, much like he often did, but that smile quickly turned into a long, low moan as Patrick’s free hand snaked up David’s neck, his fingers tangling themselves in David’s hair with just enough tension to tilt David’s head back. Patrick’s mouth traced its way down David’s jawline, to where his neck and collarbones were now fully exposed. Alternating nipping with deep presses of his lips, all of the business school fantasies Patrick never knew he had were being realized and he managed to grunt out words of appreciation for David’s dedication to fiscal responsibility, as he slowly unbuckled David’s complicated pants. 

Between gasps and moments where every nerve ending was short circuiting, impeding coherent thought, David tried to continue speaking about good governance and saving money. The heat in Patrick’s eyes burning holes into David’s brain, as Patrick slowly slid to his knees, taking David’s pants down with him. 

“Plus...if we claimed actual mileage… _.fuck, Patrick!_....we wouldn’t have to pay taxes on...oh, **god** , right _there_ …..”

Patrick licked right up the underside of David’s cock. 

“I love when you say words like pension,” he growled, licking again. David groaned above him.

“And insurance,” he continued, with another lick.

“And percent.” Patrick finished, finally taking David’s cock in his mouth as far as he could. Reaching around, grabbing David’s ass with both hands, he encouraged David to thrust into him, moaning, the vibrations only causing David’s knees to weaken and wobble. 

It didn’t take long before David was coming down Patrick’s throat, and Patrick gently released David’s softening cock from his mouth, coming to stand. 

“Who knew payroll deductions could be such a turn on?” David asked, clearing his throat, and shaking his head in mock disbelief, lips twisted in a pleased sideways smile. The little shimmy in his shoulders and well-timed wink answering his own question, as he grabbed the papers off the counter and shuffled off to the bathroom with his pants around his ankles. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
